"More fish in the sea*"..what Lake are you fishing from?!

    Now, during a conversation with one of my closest friends- a certain Mr Lunnel Sterling Pile-Gray - it came to our collective attention that through the course of our life after many deliberations with our lady friends and/or acquaintances the 'majority' have fallen (or still in) the pit of 'i am not good enough so must alter this and that stage'. Now as harsh as that could be misinterpreted as,i have found it to be nothing less than true.
    There is a term often banded around that is  'there are more fish in the sea' to which i take is to help pump those pessimistic/hard done-by/hurt souls in order to drag tham out of their pit of doubts and insecurities etc. but with such an equivocal statement being banded around its leaves huge imprints on a persons mind i.e in this case the ladies. As i said before i have spoken to multitudes of women who have had bad relationships and then spouted out that phrase -unbeknownst to them subconsciously- blaming who they are for the demise of relations...*smh*
Ladies have then tended to go through efforts to change who they are or what they stand for i.e changing clothing style and shifting morals respectively e.t.c. neglecting to acknowledge that its just the same 'dead beat' guys they keep falling for that is the problem. Its then that the ambiguity of the title statement* falls into place...

    what it means is that by telling ladies that there are plenty more fish in the sea leads them to deduce that they are indeed in the fishing game but by bad luck and chance they have just caught the wrong fish (man),so, what do they do? (rhetorical)...they end up changing BAIT?!

    Now by BAIT i mean (CQ) "everything that has something to do with the lady in question and nothing to do with the guy who wasnt the answer" - which IS wrong -

    The term BAIT has been dubbed if you will by my friend Mr Pile-Gray in his own meaning,however through our collaborative thoughts i have come across a more defining acronym that is:

B-body
A-attitude
I-ideals
T-target area

    Body: meaning that alot of females will do their utmost to >fit< into what is deemed as socially acceptable... ladies will alter their hair, add make-up, add nails, change their attire, go on ridiculous diets i.e starvation! and even go to the extreme in some cases as having sergical enhancements!..now im not saying that a lady should not do any of these things -except the latter two of course! come on now {0_o}- but if you going to change your hair or your appearance do it for the right reasons and not in order to try snare yourself a man, as if it doesnt work out you will be kicking yourself that you done all that hard work to no avail.
    You should all be in a place of contentment in regards to your self being as we are all made from the eyes of the Lord, in HIS image. Just think, would you make something to have your best traits and then say its ugly..i wouldnt think so! as the Bible states "we are all fearfully and wonderfully made". So stop with the negative, pessimistic talks of "im not good enough or im not pretty enough" as i tell you this now.
outer beauty is fleeting ....(<).... inner beauty is everlasting!

    Attitude: is a key area in that it affects not only yourself but the people around you especially those that have known you over any long length of time. Some ladies have changed how they 'act' i.e talking with slang or attempting to be more 'thuggish/ghetto or more 'prim and proper' depending on the guy they are trying to attract. People then can say that you have changed or your switching etc then not only have you altered yourself, you have now lost your friends/family trust as they now view you as a different person who will dash them aside for a less important factor eg impressing/nabbing a guy. Dissing people in order to get or keep your man can only be seen as feigning ignorance through cantankerous blindness that will end up to your own folly, i have seen girls act in such a manner and believe me its not a pretty sight, also you run the risk of any truly self respecting man who potentially could have been a right match for you can be put off such persons..this in turn goes hand in hand with the next letter that being I which stands for....

    Ideals: an ideal is a principle or value that one actively pursues as a goal (or man in this scenario). many ladies have been brought up with certain morals by their parents/guardians as such as not drinking excessively, not being compulsive liars and the worst case scenarios not taking drugs or sleeping around!!
i have bore witness to countless ladies that have reduced themselves into nothing short of hopeless bordering on being hapless (yes, THAT bad). I mean there are females that have never taken a drink in their lives and yet have then gone on to not only start drinking to the point of near paralysis but also taking drugs aswel all to win the approval of a guy..WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE MY DISGUST!..  to see, hear or know that there are ladies out there that do these things to themselves not thinking of the consequences of their actions that leaves me in deep sorrow..and thats not me being empathatic but rather sympathetic as i truly do yearn to help such souls who do those things but some (CQ) "remain so blind that they refuse to see the light". Then you get ladies that can end up lying to friends and family especially those still at home who persist to sneak out at early hours of the morning not aware that the guy is just trying to make them 'another notch on the belt' -is that what you want for yourselves?- which leads me to the final point of fornication (sex to those who dont know). I dont understand why so many would give up the one thing that when its gone can NEVER be re-claimed! (for those that know the Bible, yes God will forgive you and absolve you of all guilt through baptism.. but you physically wont get your virginity back). What is sad though is through the perception of the world sex is just a tool to have and indulge upon at any giving chance leading to lascivious trysts in..public TOILETS *smh* in rooms where other people are present etc where is the shame!?........
    Ladies are giving up their virginity to such scum and leaving the principles and morals their parents had set out for them to persue and keep.
sorry for the long speech but its all stuff that needs to be 'acknowledged' and moreso 'changed'. it seems long have gone the days of someone holding themselves for marriage as its socially acceptable (theres that term again) to sleep around. All i can say to this a the moment is ladies please i beseech you to not give away your innocence and trade your integrity for a measly one-night stand or to be someones 'link'. remember that you too could have daughters and im sure you wouldnt appreciate them behaving in such a manner! so cling to your morals and wear your priciples with pride. Especially as so many ladies also want to do so but just dont have the strength to break out of social standing so then conform to how the world actively suggests you to behave. So do it for your friends sake who may follow your influence, do it for your daughters who may follow your example, but more so, do it for yourself as through your ideals you know who you are..  so if you dont have any...who are you?!

the final letter is T that stands for

    Target Area: brings me to the end but its probably the most important thing of all! as even if you alter your appearance, change your attitude and compromise your ideals-not to ever suggest im agreeing with any of those-, what good would that do in your search for happyness if you are getting the same kind of man?! (not rhetorical, ask yourself this..yes..really!)


    The analogy is simple and such, "you can keep changing the BAIT in 'hope' of securing a bigger and better catch, but instead of changing the BAIT with every failed attempt or catch that didnt suffice, but ask yourself this...why instead are you not changing the LAKE you are fishing in?!"


    The explaination: ladies you need to realise that you can alter all the previously noted but if you are going to look for a different guy thats in the same walk of life as the previous then you never guess what you are going to get?...yeah the same 'dead beat' guy but different wrapper per say. It seems like a pretty easy concept to understand but you wouldnt imagine the amount of ladies who still put them selves through misery with this,i mean how hard can it be? take these scenarios e.g.. you get a guy in a night club whos a flirt and ends up cheating on you then you go back and do the same thing and get another guy whos a flirt -not to say all will do that, but why risk it?- or you could be with a guy who sells drugs, he gets put in jail and your left with a child by him with no dad then you get with another drug dealer and have another child...what do you envisage as possibly happening? why give yourself the mental torture and distress?
    Im not attempting to make anyone feel bad if they are stuck in such a situation as the scenarios above, but just to let them know that there is always a way to come out of the pitfalls in life and that you dont have to settle for less or remain in them for the rest of your life...so be aware of the guys that you seek!

    So in writing this blog i hope at the least awareness has been raised to the seriousness of Ladies who choose to change there BAIT for the attention or hope of ensnaring a man, your personal being is who you are and i myself believe that there truly is people that match us in the World but Ladies should definetly not compromise themselves in order to force through a relationship hastily.
    This i believe as all ladies should realise that they are beautiful manifestations of Gods will and that unfortunetely 'the world' will always fail to recognise such natural beauty. So now the question begs to be asked... are you truly satisfied with the Lake you are fishing in?